Sweet or silly?
When teenage boys surprise you then stump you
Walking into class one day, I noticed a row of purple carnations laying on my desk. A handful of sophomore boys stood there smiling, it was endearing and alarming.
Sophomore: We got these for you, Mrs. D.
Me: That’s so sweet. Were these obtained by legal means? Did you steal them? Is it okay for me to accept these?
Sophomore: Mrs. D!
Me: You didn’t answer the question.
Sophomore: We didn’t steal anything. We thought you’d like them.
Me: I do. Thank you. What an unexpected surprise.
Five minutes after this conversation, I looked over to see these some young men playing “the slapping game.” One student was sitting in a desk while the others stood behind him. They then took turns slapping the seated student on the head. The objective? Correctly guess who slapped him.
Teenage males will often attempt to prove they’re grown and tough one moment while suggesting a game of freeze tag the next. It is both entertaining and perplexing. Why can’t these young men keep their hands to themselves? Of all the students who sit in my room, it is the males who are constantly teaching each other, either taunting one another with hugs or slapping each other upside the head.
I just asked the internet that question. According to healthychildren.org, teenage boys do this to self-soothe or the need for sensory input. Parent Cue states boys are more often tactile and kinesthetic learners and learn better with movement. This sheds light onto the crazy things boys do in a class that often lack those elements. The structure of most classes does not allow for these elements as students get older.
No wonder it is the boys who are often “causing trouble.” Maybe they don’t actually have behavior issues, they just need to be able to move and interact with their environment. Do they also need to learn how to act appropriately in various scenarios? Absolutely. But maybe these wild darlings need some variations in their learning.
Thinking over this past year, I often patted the boys in the classroom on the back or shoulder either to redirect them or let them know they were doing well. With the females, I would look them in the eye, ask questions, listen, and affirm them. Multiple students told me my room always felt safe and where they were accepted. I, unknowingly, was providing something each student needed (this just now occurred to me).
Parents, hug your sons and listen to your daughters. Your sons need the positive and safe touch. Your daughters need to know their voices matter. Teachers, when you turn around and the males are playing “guess who slapped you,” and laughing as they do, let them. They’re simply filling a need they all have, even if we think it’s absurd.