I began writing this in 2021. Rather than working to make this book #3, I have opted to start posting on here. Enjoy.
Introduction
As I type, I am in the midst of a less than favorable situation. For months, I was told of change coming my way. However, when changes were made, they did not work in my favor. Everything I had been told over the course of five months has become nothing more than lies and empty platitudes. It has been frustrating, to say the least. For the sake of extreme authenticity, I feel betrayed and horribly mistreated. When a coworker stated, “I have never seen anyone as mistreated as you have been,” my feelings felt validated and just, and also incredibly icky.
Every morning, as I walk through the doors, a headache begins forming. The muscles in my neck tighten, and the slow drumming sensation in my head begins. I have to continually force myself to yawn to prevent clenching my jaw.
I want someone to be honest with me and tell me the words I sense exist between the ones spoken. An apology would go far in healing some of these wounds. But as of yet, those things have not occurred. There is a story I sense is not being told, and its tale holds the answer to many questions being formulated in my mind.
So yes, I am writing from a place of great disappointment, and anger, right now. You need to know that. You need to know I am experiencing and insane amount of disappointment as I type. Why? I need you to know I do not have all the answers. I have yet to figure this thing out, and I am questioning how I am walking through this season. It matters to me that you know I am not trying to wave a magical wand and make things right. Nor will pretend this is not a complicated topic we are venturing into. I want you to know I am learning as I go and sharing the answers as I go along. And it matters because if you are reading these pages, you are probably in a place of hurting too, and I want you to know I understand. I refuse to write about topics to sound like an expert, though I have never experienced them myself.
I have read too many books with wisdom that has not been walked out or tested. There are too many clichés and memes telling us how we should handle hard moments that leave us feeling worse than before. I do not want to be an empty voice. I cannot recite meaningless clichés, nor will I give you two minutes of encouragement and expect that to be sufficient enough for you to heal and hold fast to faith.
Can we make a deal? Let’s not put on a brave face and pretend all is well. Can we be honest while also remain hopeful? When the final page turns, maybe we will find the healing we need. I hope we do. And I hope we learn how to walk through disappointments a little bit better, even when they come like sucker punch to the gut.
Please come back for Chapter 1.