Get a move on
We cannot, and should not, wallow in our disappointment for long. Eventually, we will have to make a decision and do something. Make a change, choose to stay, but something will have to be done. Me? I chose to leave the position I was in rather than stay and see if things would change. Then, I sought other opportunities, and stepped into them willingly.
Yes, disappointments can have us feeling stuck, or thwart our desire to do much of anything. But honey, we are better than that. We are not people who sink into pits of despair and misery. No sir, no ma’am, we are not! We are warriors who will encounter battles, experience both defeat and victory, and we will keep on moving. By moving on, we are not erasing what happened, or negating how we felt.
May I share a little secret with you? By practicing everything we have discussed already, you are moving on. In moving on, our disappointment is not going to impede us any longer.
This life we are living is a journey. There are twists and turns, adventures and heartbreak. The journey, my friend, will not always go as we would like. But we are going to keep journeying on.
As you go, in the direction you have chosen, you may have to silence your inner critic. I assure you I have had to tell my own self to “shush” more than a few times. I have doubted I made the right choice, and questioned how I handled the situation. But at the end of the day, I did the best I could with the situation at hand. I was not one hundred percent perfect in the words I chose or my attitude. But, I did my best, made a choice, and took the next best step.
After a few conversations with my trusted circle, I embraced all the feelings I had, and started believing “the best is yet to come.” I choose to look back and see the value in what happened, and in what I learned. Yes, I even choose to see all the good in the situation, and there is quite a bit. Everything has a purpose, and so does everyone.
Also, you may have to release control in order to move on. You may need to release your expectations and ideas of how life should play out. We know this, at our core, yet often become surprised when we experience this. What? Life is not playing out exactly as I had planned? How could this have happened? There is a time to whine, to express our every complaint and hurt. And, there is a time to move the heck on.
Life is a constant ebb and flow. It is never stagnant. Have you ever seen stagnant water? It’s stinky, and gross, and not at all welcoming to swim or play in. Stagnant lives are much the same. A life that never moves is not inviting, and lacks life. Sadly, I think we all know someone whose life seems to have become a stagnant, stinky mess. This is the person who complains about everything, and everyone. And have mercy, they are never at fault. Heaven forbid they take responsibility for the state of their lives. Call it the victim mentality, call it immaturity, call it whatever you want. I call it a stagnant, stinky mess I want no part of. Neither do you. These people suck the energy and joy right out of the room. We do not want to be around these people, and we certainly do not want to be these people.
Disappointments need a time of mourning, a time of processing what has happened. But then, we need to make a move. What move you make depends one hundred percent on what is best for you, and the people within your four walls.
I know, friend, I want the easy button. I want to push a button and know the answer, the right and best answer, immediately. But, I cannot tell you what the next, best step is for you. Neither can your best friend. Sure, we can offer our insights and wisdom based on our knowledge of one another. But ultimately, your friends are not the ones who must live out your choices. That falls squarely on your shoulders. Seek wise counsel, yes, but you are the one who must make a decision.
What is the worst case scenario? You will realize you still are not where you should be, and will have to make another change. As the saying goes, everything is figureoutable. Lean in, I have something else to tell you. It is okay if you don’t figure it all out right away. Even if you have to take a few steps to get where you need to be, that is okay. You will be okay. Whether the journey is messy and feels like you’re traveling down a toddler’s scribbles, you will get to the place you are meant to be…if you will just keep going.
Before you turn the page of this chapter, ask yourself one question, “What is the next, best step for me?” Then, do that thing. You got this friend, you got this.