Welcome, 2023
A new year has begun. Guess what? You and I survived one hundred percent of the hardest days we encountered in 2022. Here we are, welcoming a new year, living and breathing. We survived, on some days we even thrived. But here we are starting a new year.
There were some wonderful moments in 2022, but it was a hard freaking year. It may have been one of the hardest years I have ever walked through. But I did get through it, fully intact, and much better than when I started. I sat with a friend the other day and I was fighting tears as she looked at me and said, “I am so proud of you for how you fought for yourself, your family, in the past year. You persevered, and you are all better for it.” It is humbling to have someone recognize both the heartache and the victory in my life. It is humbling to look back at the past year and see the myriad of ways God showed himself faithful and good. Because all I did was ask Him what the next, best step was, then took that step. There were days I wanted to run, to quit, to be done fighting. But God. God said, “stay, just take one step at a time.” I trusted Him enough to not be led by my own desires and emotions. Instead, I simply let Him lead.
Yesterday, I sat with my journal and answered questions a trauma therapist posted on social media. These eight questions caused me to remember, to recognize the hard and the beautiful moments of the past year. They showed me my own strength, which many have referred to as stubbornness, and resilience. More than anything, I saw how God was at work to heal and restore areas I have long avoided, and how kind and generous He is. Time and time again I saw him make beauty from ashes. Who am I to deserve such kindness?
As I have thought back to the last year, and as I look forward to the year ahead, the picture below comes to mind. I am not a mighty warrior, though it feels I have come out of a long, exhausting battle. The truth is, I found myself on my knees praying and pleading, believing and trusting, in the One who leads me.
